Monday, August 10, 2009
myramoxiaomai from URL @ 13:01
whatever ive predicted has come true.
i told myself, youre doin fine now, as long as you don see him again.
true enough, im happy with my life without your existence.
im happy with my family, children, gf and friends.
the difference in my life now compared to before, was the only fact that you had slowly disappear from my life.
or should i say the other way round, that i was the one slowly walking away from you?
whatever it was, i swear i was fine, i was happy, no tears, no heartbreaks, NOTHING.
i really didn wanna see you at all, because i kno once i see you, everything will be bac to square one. i really didn wanna see you on saturday night at Powerhouse, but i couldn bear when i heard you nearly broke down. i couldn help it when i heard you were stressed, you were having problems. i wanted to be there for you always, like before, cus that was what ive always promised you, as your brother.
little did i kno, i made a mudderfucking HUGE BIGASS mistake!
fuck!!!!!
i couldn stop missing you once we parted on Saturday night.
and though i swear, that i was reluctant to go Rebel with you ytd,
(like fucking fucking reluctant), i did anyway.
for these past two nights,
we shared the same cig like before - i miss those times
we shared the same drink,
you lighted up my cig for me,
we took pics tgt,
i sensed your presence,
i sensed your touch,
and, most importantly,
we sms again, we talked,
after about 6 months of not contacting.
but what i had predicted, what i fear most, came true.
i was again disappointed, because the least you could do, which was to be like a brother to me, you still failed. you kept on saying, brothers brothers, but we're seriously like two fucking strangers!
but to kno you were there, right beside me, i was happy.
tell me, how long more?
you said i was too good for you - excuses?
there isnt a need to hide the truth from me.
then again, like ive always told you, i don want anything more from you.
jus be my brother.
ive always been happy for you and her.
i smiled looking at your photos with her :)
im glad you found your happiness.
i don even hav the slightest idea of replacing whoever thats in your heart.
wilson, no matter how foolish you look at times,
no matter how youve turned from a very good-looking, paikia-faced chap,
to a not-so-good-looking guaikia,
no matter how youve hurt me unintentionally,
no matter how insensitive you may be,
no matter how naive you are at times,
i fail to let go of my feelings for you.
tell me, how long more?
the best part ytd was,
a group of total strangers,
gave me a sense of protection,
a sense of belonging,
a sense of life.
they took care of me, really good care of me the whole night ytd till this morning 7am!
while you, my brother, left me in the club, all alone (did you?)
cus you were drunk too.
you, were that stranger to me.
why you?
as much as you give me life, all these while,
you always left me dead at the end of the day.
:(:(:(
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