myramoxiaomai from URL @ 22:43i feel kinda moody now. sad? probably. this feeling of sadness is different though. not like the normal sad sad feeling that you'd get when you feel down and heartbroken. more of, guilty? the feeling that there's something hard for you to swallow, but at the same time, your stomach feels poisoned, and that you feel like throwing up? :(:(:(
the thing is, i jus gotten myself a very beautiful parrotfish. bought it for my lesson on fishes tmr. the children would love to see a real fish ehh? planned to keep it for myself once im done with the lesson. but, sighhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i think right now Liara mus be struggling real hard. and i don kno what else to do. all was fine with Liara, till .... i changed Liara to a small tank complete with new water and an oxygen stone. about half an hour later... Liara was floating in the water, and turning round and round and round.
even when my uncle came down with his big fish tank, complete with the air pump and all the whatever equipment for the tank, and moved Liara there, Liara remained still, not moving at all. :(:(:(
my aunt, mom and almost everyone else was like telling me, "aiya don keep on looking at it. jus leave it alone. soon it will be fine." fine? my ass ah! so long! still the same. Liara's breathing hard now, and im fucking helpless.
banana was also telling me, "it's jus a fish! die die lahh why are you so panicky?!"
and this leads me to really think. it's a FUCKLING LIFE FOR GOD'S SAKE! i kno it's jus a bloody fish, but it's still a fucking living thing, and it has the right to live, jus like you do! why cant some people really think? don they hav a heart?
and, i remember now, what i was saying to myself, as i saw Liara being transferred out from her original tank to a plastic bag so i could bring her home. "little did she kno, that when she follow this new master home, it was her last day to live..." but my heart was probably only speaking its mind! i don wish for it to happen ya'kno!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK MANNN!!! I KNO IT SOUNDS FUCKING DRAMATIC. BUT I REALLY DID THINK THAT WAY AND I REGRET BUYING LIARA!
if Liara were to die tonight, it's all my fault!! :(:(:(
look at the sun carefully. what can you say about it?
seriously, i thought i was about to go blind this morning. as i was walking under the fucking scorching sun, i was like "wtf?!" my eyes were hurting supa badly. damn painful siakk! even when i closed my eyes and looked down, the pain was really unbearable. i couldn see a thing, i don kno where i was walking, but i jus walked straight. at that very moment, i thought i was going blind ehh. damn scary. i finally reached the bustop, but i was like tearing profusely lah! it didn stop ehh! went up the bus, still tearing. eyes had that kinda burning sensation. everyone mus hav stared at me.
when i reached workplace, i took a good look at my eyes. (of course through the mirror lah) normal ehh not red. but till now, i am still thinking. whats wrong? i kno theres something not right with my eyes. i suppose it has got something to do with my corneas? and im still as stubborn as ever, refusing to make specs and keep on wearing lenses. i very well kno the condition of my eyes, and i even planned to see the doctor and, im expecting some bad news. but ohwell, procrastination always gets the better of me. it has been months, in fact, and i haven been to one yet. fuck me.
anyways, firs day working at plaza bowl today. not bad. i spent the whole time, from 5-11pm, playing DS lah! bad rightttt. heh :) in addition, and it's very irritating too, is that besides playing DS, i was offered alot of food to eat lah ehh! after dinner, had popiah from one uncle (a regular jackpot player), had 3/4 packet of caramel crackers, 1 packet of corntos, one eggtart (my fav!) and some carrot cake lah ehh! fuck big time rightt. very full okayy. ive been gorging quite often lately. and jus when i thought i was putting alot of weight yet again, people from everywhere were saying i lost weight. and the way they said it was like almost similar!
"MYRA!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?? KENA TORTURED BY THE CHILDREN IS IT?? OMG! YOU LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT LAHH! YOU LOOK LIKE THE CHILDREN BEAT YOU UP LAHH!"
piangx! laughed my head off mannn.
but nonono. the children shouldn be blamed. but i hafta admit that if you were to see me looking depressed, feeling stressed - out of the ordinary, cheerful myra, the main cause is, yea of course work lahh. but i wouldn hav felt so bad, so inadequate, if i hadnt put high expectations of myself being a teacher. yes, indeed, the kids were overbearing at times, and they could go overboard. like really overboard. but when you really sit down and think about it, could you prevent those misbehaviours from the kids? yes you can. though honestly speaking, to all current ech students who are like thinking of becoming a teacher and make it your career, THEORY ISNT ALWAYS APPLICABLE TO REAL LIFE. in fact, it is MOSTLY NOT APPLICABLE in real life. don wanna disclose much. let you guys hav some "fun" working firs. HEH:) anyways, children are innocent parties in this picture. they shouldn get involved and be victims whenever teachers are having mood swings
and shouldn be "punished" or reprimanded when they misbehave,
because for every behaviour, comes a 'reasonable reason' to back it up. aww mann. im sucha loser. a pathetic pessimistic effing loser who 's unable to even live up to whatever she believes and preaches! AHHHH. FUCK ME BIG TIME!
but thanx second sis for EVERYTHING! for asking me not to keep things inside and jus to let it out. for acknowledging how i feel. for understanding me and my current plight.
okayy. tmr(sunday) gonna spend my day with the DS and touching countless of dirty money. and yepp, by the time i reach home, shower, change and sleep, very soon, in fact on the very nex day, my "life" would begin. my no life "life" from mon to fri. NICE~ VERY NICE~ cant wait for nex weekend!!!!! :):):)
i love him so much that whenever i think about him, i would drop a tear, at least. whatever he had done to me, how bad he was, how disrespectful he was, (though i kno he was jus joking) how he hit me using his fist alot of times at home, (painful, mind you) how he scolded me when i didn allow him to follow me out, i still love him, and i would do anyth to protect him. he is a boy with character that one hardly understands unless one is really close to him. not even our parents can really understand him.
banana, (nick given by fcukers :P) HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY! :):):)
last Friday, instead of clubbing with cousins as planned, me and sis radya went for dinner and dessert at clarke quay. i told her, once i stepped into CQ, i would always be sooo tempted to club! but too bad that night i left my i/c in the car. fugger me. so spent our time at TCC, where sis expressed all out. i feel for her, i really do. she's definitely one strong lady.
come last Sunday, picnic at Marina Barrage with cousins! walao! DAMN FUCKING FUN DAY, I SWEAR! played frisbee, soccer, captain's ball, and BINGO LOTTO! ok Bingo Lotto is acty a game similar to like real-life TOTO. we hav a card each, and one of us would be the one calling out the numbers, and the rest would mark out the numbers mentioned. and once we hav completed the whole card of numbers, we win the game. we played for like 5 rounds and i won 2 rounds :) my ibu too, and faizal said we won cus of the crackers tupperware. both of us acty placed our cards on top of that tupperware and coincidentally we won lahhh! so it was said that the tupperware brought us luck. =/
FRISBEE!
SIS RADYA AND MUA
THE KEROPOK TEAM! KEROPOK MEANS CRACKERS IN MALAY :)
IBU SO HAPPY TO HAV WON 2 TIMES! ALL THANX TO THE KEROPOK TUPPERWARE! =P
oh while we were frisbee-ing, a boy came up to me, (note, of all people, he chose me. HAHA!) and asked, "can i play with you?" haha. and thereafter he started playing all sorts of games with us, and became my godson :) ehh, his father damn macho - a muscular man with good looks
my godson using our Nikon to take a pic of his momma! and one calafare at the bac.
"BABY BOY! COME TO MOMMA!"
ME, FAIZAL AND HIS MUMMY :)
right after that, the rest went home, ibu went out, and me, bai, banana, syam went to hav dinner at tiong. and bought a little cake for dearest. her birthday! and i did not even wish her for the whole day. on purpose lah duhh. went to her place to surprise her. met karinfai and madam sapiah! (pri sch Tcher!)
DEAREST NANA. BESFRENS FOR ETERNITY :)
and the day ive been anticipating for - ZOOOOOOO ON MONDAY! we had to recce certain places of the zoo before we could bring our children for a trip there. i had fun, but too short a time ehh. didn manage to see alot of animals luhhh. but ive learnt alot from the short trip. :)
AT THE KAMPONG HOUSE! A BIG PEST THAT I HATE, ALOTTT!
GUESS WHAT IS THIS? A MOLAR OF AN ELEPHANT! SO BIG RIGHTTTT. ONLY EAT GRASS, NEED SUCHA BIG ONE MEHH.
THIS IS PAIKIA. I TOUCHED HIS HAIR, HE ANGRY SIAKK! =P
I DULAN SO I TOOK THIS PIC. EHH BUT NOT SO BAD EHH. SOMETHING TO LEARN ABOUT.
QUITE CHIO RIGHT?
and yesterday, had a "breather" cus didn really teach for the whole day. celebrated Racial Harmony Day. darn fun!
MY 3 MYANMAR KIDS. CUTE RIGHT. ESPECIALLY WHEN DONNING ON THE COSTUMES.
I PROMISE TO MAKE HIM MY ADOPTED SON, IF, IM NOT GETTING MARRIED. OR UNABLE TO CONCEIVE.
as i looked bac at my last year's entries for July, Aug, Sept, wow, many things had happened. those things that happened, felt like they occurred only yesterday. i miss everything about last year. =( but am still looking forward to write my Aug and Sept life story for 2009.
im working at the jackpot place again on weekends, for the THIRD TIME! another person has been sacked, so im wanted! though im not supposed to be having a pt job now that im working, im not gonna fucking care. ehh im doing a wonderful deed ok! HAHA.
last year, i spent my Nat Day at work. at the jackpot place. you sent me a wonderful yet funny msg, which totally killed my boredom. this year, i'd be spending my day at the same place again. but only now, without your msg, without you. right?
myramoxiaomai from URL @ 11:13so much to say, don even kno where to start. what a big fuck.
as i walked, all alone, under the not-so-starry night, my heart wrenched up slowly, turning into the size of a baby's fist. it hurts, so bad, so so bad, when i hafta think of you, the times we walked home tgt, the times i could hear your voice and the way you talked, the s-m-o-k-e, your jokes, the way you walked, our supper, our nua-ing sessions.
at that moment, i realize, i still need you badly.
when will this ever end? when can i truly get over it? for how long more do i hav to get stuck in this? for how much more can i suffer?
myramoxiaomai from URL @ 00:41the girl who loves the guy so much. the girl who's willing to do anything for the guy, be it known or not. the girl that sacrifices everything else for the guy. the girl who's there for the guy in times of his need. the girl who's not able to be with the guy. the girl whom the guy doesn love. the girl who's unable to forget the guy. the girl that cries for the guy, only to find out the guy's crying for someone else.
VERSUS
the girl who loves the guy so much. the girl who won the guy over. the girl who shared happy moments with the guy. the girl whom the guy called "baby". the girl that quarrelled with the guy. the girl that broke off with the guy but still love him wholeheartedly. the girl who cries for the guy. the girl who's unable to forget the guy.
WHATS THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE?
the girl in the firs scenario should jus move on and fly kite? shouldn be wasting her time because the guy doesn like her at all? the big deal is with the girl in the second scenario? because at least she has been with the guy, because the guy was once her bf? because at least the guy has loved her before? the firs scenario is like what we call "chicken feet lahh ehh, nothing one lahh ehh. stop dreaming lahh, move on" the second one is like "yea. it's really sad for you. you guys hav been tgt for so long ehh. sighh."
WHAT THE FUCK LAHH EHH. THE GIRL'S LOVE FOR THE GUY IN THE FIRS SCENARIO IS AS GENUINE AND REAL! please don treat it as if it's nothing for the girl. please don think it's not hurtful. please don think that it is easy to move on. please don regard this as unimportant, unlike in the second scenario.
because,
if you do, you hav definitely underestimated herpower of love.
i feel like highlighting my hair again ehhhhh. either put lots of green hair extension, or blue? purple? again? or really really go highlight. aiyaa! dye ash whole head lahh! butttt, fucking work lahhh! how how how?
THIS GF, KNN ONE. LOL! i alr planned like since May, that one of the surprises im gonna giv her, is to decorate a cake for her. you kno that famous shop at JP? YA LAAAAA. and ive alr decided ok, make it during our 5th month. before i meet her, i'll go down to JP myself and decorate firs then surprise her with the cake. and the night before, gf msg me saying she's got a surprise for me, and that this surprise, i myself wont be able to think what it is gonna be.
jus go JP meet her can liao. the nex day, i woke up late, so couldn surprise her with the cake and thought i could do it for her the nex anni. andddddd when we met, she immediately pulled me to that cake shop. i was like KNN LAAAA YOU!!! OUR SURPRISE ALSO MUS BE THE SAME IDEA MEHH? LJ. GF. YOURE INDEED MY GF LAAA :)
we went escape, and failed to win ourselves the huge soft toys that we wanted, we went into the Haunted House, and were figuring out quite badly how we were supposed to get out of that damn place. and when we finally got out, im pretty sure we had that "WHAT THE FUCK?" face on laaaa. Inverter and Rainbow closed for maintenance purposes, much to our disappointment. so of course Pirate Ship seemed to be the most thrilling ride ever. i screamed till my saliva dropped out ahh! =/ but gf was worse, she was explaining to me about some shit thing, and her saliva jus like splish splash onto my face! HAHA. after that we had dinner at BBQ CHICKEN for only $2.30 laaa! promo promo! then had a free ferris wheel ride too for fucking 5 minutes. ok lahh at least we could snap a few pics during the ride. more pics on where else? facebook la ehh. haha. i need a tight slap right? i kno. haha.
wet and wild, INDEED. i was ALL WET OK!
even my falsies peeled a little!
ohh during the ferris wheel ride, we acty swing swang swung using as much body weight/strength as we could producing sounds like "UHHH UHMMM" and the likes. sth like constipation noises lol!
ok laaa exaggeratedddd! haha. then, we saw this sign and went UHH-OHH.
gf, from the very firs day we officially went out tgt, at mos burger, when we ordered the same meal and same drinks coincidentally, i kno, we mus hav alot of things in common. along the way, you knew what i was thinking, i knew what you were thinking, we knew how each other were feeling, jus through our smses.
i never really knew the real reason behind this facade of us being gfs, but i kno, from the moment we met, we had that special feeling, deep within us, unexplainable, that brought us tgt :)
Fate brings us tgt, and you assured me that with you around, everything will be fine. how fair can this world be ehh? to hav lost one person, i gained a better one. im grateful to him for bringing us tgt.
God is fair. He knos im gonna lose him, but through him i gained YOU, my dearest :) and im more than contented. :) LOVE YOU GF. :)
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Zirca and Rebel on Friday, work on Saturday, Marina Barrage on Sunday!
this week has passed quite the fast for me. and im very happy :) come thursday, EmoFam finally met up. ive had too much a share at Suki Sushi. 9 plates and a chawan mushi! i remember i felt so fucking bloated, and looked so fucking horrible without my makeup on. i die liao. my sister said, when i reach like early 30s, and 40s, my face will look fucking ugly if i don put on any makeup. in other words, i hafta rely on makeup so my face wont look so OLD, WRINKLED, "SHAGGED", TIRED, WHATEVER .... BLA BLA. HOW SIAKKK??
ok that aside (i hav more important things to think about), i hope kat's reading this, cus i jus wanna say,
I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING YOU DID FOR ME! I LOVE YOU KAT! AND YES, I REALLY MISS THOSE TIMES WE CABBED TGT, AND STILL ENDED UP LATE FOR CLASS, I MISS HOW YOU BEAT ME, PINCH ME, COMPOSE THAT EMO SONG WITH ME, I MISS OUR BUS RIDES TGT GOING FOR ATTACHMENT, AND COOKING UP EXCUSES NOT TO GO FOR ATTACHMENT! WOW! ;) TIME FLIES LIKE MAD EHH?
my nex-block-bestie, no worries, i'll press on. it's true, when life throws lemons at you, jus put on the right attitude and make lemonade out of it! what if life throws eggs at you? how to pick them all up and make omelette?! whatever it is, whenever im with you, i'll make sure you get to hear my expensive laughter okay? ;P
BESTIE, AND ME WITH A FUGLY FACE.
Saturday, 11072009 Bugis, and crap!
after i met up with Sindy for more urgent matters, i met up with xialan-kia for crap. haha. he bought a nice white long sleeve shirt. and then we crapped, for few hours til cherry qq came. one thing about our crap that i like, was when we talked about "What happens to us 25 years later? Or even when we reach 60, 70?" are Fcukers gonna still be tgt? to see everyone's grandchildren even? and what about our grandchildren's era? and suddenly, this song came about: "i wanna make out right na na na..." WAHAHAHAHA! and then xialan-kia said, "my grandson would say, this song so old, still put as ringtone!" "then i say, ____ (grandson's name), this song ah, used to be a clubbing song you kno!"
haha. i can never imagine what would happen to the songs/tv programmes, clubs(?!), kids, society, and etc etc when ive reached 60. really. or mebbe, i could never live up to that age? *shrugs*
and here's a video of Prince Kun Ming *VOMITS!* HAHA. but frankly, he does live like a prince, but he's overdoing it when he calls me his maid! fucker one this guy.
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2 more hours and im in for some lovefun! love me, love me say that you love me~ fool me, fool me, go on and fool me~ gf! love youuuuuu!! :)
#im tempted to go Butter tonight, Play and Butter, (my 2 fav clubs!) mix tgt = Playing with Butter! i wanna play with butter leii, but working tmr. =/ ____________________________________
jus some pics taken at Powerhouse on saturday. i wonder when will i ever club again. i don even kno if i should ever again. mebbe, i should really change. mebbe i should only club like occasionally. like only when there's a friend's party or whatever. but right now, it seems like, clubbing is a habit to me. i mean, in this world, you can choose to turn something into your habit or not. ultimately, it's gonna be your choice. jus like the one friend or friends you contact with everyday, it's already like a habit to contact him/her, and once you stop smsing/msning etc, you feel like something's missing. kayy that's besides the point.
sometimes i really wonder, people keep telling me, "myra! teacher myra! go clubbing huh..." i kno what they mean. but now when i think about it, it's like wtf? teachers cant club? people are being stereotypical about this. teachers are like mothers to the children. teachers are noble, teachers don scold vulgarities. teachers don smoke. teachers this, teachers that, fuck you! being a teacher is jus an occupation, it is jus a fucking job, and it shouldn interfere with your personal life after work. being a teacher shouldn affect/change your personality, your character, the people you mix around with, the way you talk, the songs you listen to, the colour of your hair, (ohgawd this is the most frustrating part!) and alot more.
i mean, for me, as long as i kno my limits, where i stand, and how to differentiate between work and personal life, it is not wrong for a teacher to club and be vulgar.
LAUGH OUT LOUD PEOPLE! :P
the top xialan-kia in singapore.
and also quite the xialan gf.
Sunday, 05 July 2009 EATING DROP-FROM-THE-SKY DURIANS
i was acty fucking tired from partying the night before, but i still forced myself to get up cus it's durians!! free durians!! with aching ankles and thighs, i quickly got up and made my way to eastcoast to meet soulsister, brother and cousins! :) and fed myself with thousands of durians. i didn burp durian, but my brother fucking did. smelly siakk!
i wanna practise opening up durian husks! very fun! haha. and yupp. it was Ice Age 3 after that! met xialan-kia and cherry qq to shop at bugis. and didn expect us to catch a movie. and because of xialan-kia's powerful xialan mouth, he got cherry qq to treat me to the movie! woohoo! best ah, AH KUN. do that more often eh. keep it up! :)
IM AFRAID AS EACH DAY PASSES BY, THINGS WILL GET WORSE FOR US. CAN YOU FEEL THE COLDNESS? BUT, NO MATTER WHAT, I STILL REMEMBER WHAT'S MY PROMISE TO YOU. AND I KNO YOU DO, TOO.
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Sunday, July 05, 2009
kudos to the deejay for the great remix all night. though planned to stay till 5, the music wasnt really to my liking after 4 onwards but... it was damn POWER before that!! :) so i yelled at the deejay, LOVEYOU FOR THE GREAT REMIX! haha. siao.
overall. i enjoyed it. why?
cus, i entered for free. thanx xialan-kia! youre the best! then, i drank for free. drank 3 glasses still buay high. drank somemore. and the zhiyang quite funny ehh gf! :P then, to top it all off, GREAT MUSIC PLUS GREAT GF! :) the only thing i regretted, was when i went out to smoke and jus seconds after that, there was my favourite song!!! and i knew i couldn go bac in there in time for the piece. LEAN BACK lahh ehh, and i was always damn pissed when i couldn manage to dance to my fav song, really!! ahh cb ah. nvm. fated. haha.
so gf, really, don you even dare to apologise to me again. because i really enjoyed the night, with you. i kno we did it. i didn kno what happened to me too, to be doing the same fucking thing as you. indeed, our firs time like that right? but hey, it was a great experience ok. because i had that particular feeling that i was protecting you:) and i love that feeling, cus, if not, you'd always be the one protecting me leii. gf, this night, i wont ever forget. remember, i'll always be there for you, and, i kno that you'll always be there for me too:)
HANGOVER! HANGOVER! HANGOVER! FUCK. HOW TO SURVIVE FOR PICNIC LATER SIAKK? ALRIGHT SLEEEEEEEEEP!!
it came like a thunder without any rain. i jus burst out like that. memories jus flashed past, and i saw us. then i had the urge. good thing, i didn do what i long wanted to. why am i putting myself to the test? when will it ever end? i m i s s y o u . f u c k i n g b i t c h! :)
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Thursday, July 02, 2009
once a xialan-kia, always will be. but one thing change though, we recognize the bond, we acknowledge the bond.
after talking to him, i really felt better. now i kno, there's someone i can count on to make me forget all miseries, all loose ends.
XIALAN-KIA, THANX ALOT LEIII. TALK TO YOU UNTIL MY EAR PAIN EHH. ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE PIERCINGS! LUCKY THING MY PHONE DIED WHILE WE TALKED HALFWAY! and we broke the timing leii! 140am leii you knn. but anyways, cheers to this "brotherhood". and im NOT a gossip girl. but, youre definitely one xialan-kia. :)
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