look at the sun carefully. what can you say about it?

seriously, i thought i was about to go blind this morning.
as i was walking under the fucking scorching sun, i was like "wtf?!"
my eyes were hurting supa badly. damn painful siakk!
even when i closed my eyes and looked down, the pain was really unbearable.
i couldn see a thing, i don kno where i was walking, but i jus walked straight.
at that very moment, i thought i was going blind ehh. damn scary.
i finally reached the bustop, but i was like tearing profusely lah!
it didn stop ehh! went up the bus, still tearing.
eyes had that kinda burning sensation. everyone mus hav stared at me.

when i reached workplace, i took a good look at my eyes. (of course through the mirror lah) normal ehh not red. but till now, i am still thinking. whats wrong?
i kno theres something not right with my eyes. i suppose it has got something to do
with my corneas? and im still as stubborn as ever, refusing to make specs
and keep on wearing lenses. i very well kno the condition of my eyes,
and i even planned to see the doctor and, im expecting some bad news.
but ohwell, procrastination always gets the better of me.
it has been months, in fact, and i haven been to one yet. fuck me.


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anyways, firs day working at plaza bowl today. not bad.
i spent the whole time, from 5-11pm, playing DS lah! bad rightttt. heh :)
in addition, and it's very irritating too, is that besides playing DS,
i was offered alot of food to eat lah ehh! after dinner, had popiah from one uncle
(a regular jackpot player), had 3/4 packet of caramel crackers, 1 packet of corntos, one eggtart (my fav!) and some carrot cake lah ehh! fuck big time rightt. very full okayy. ive been gorging quite often lately. and jus when i thought i was putting alot of weight yet again, people from everywhere were saying i lost weight. and the way they said it was like almost similar!

"MYRA!! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?? KENA TORTURED BY THE CHILDREN IS IT?? OMG! YOU LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT LAHH! YOU LOOK LIKE THE CHILDREN BEAT YOU UP LAHH!"


piangx! laughed my head off mannn.

but nonono. the children shouldn be blamed.
but i hafta admit that if you were to see me looking depressed,
feeling stressed - out of the ordinary, cheerful myra,
the main cause is, yea of course work lahh.
but i wouldn hav felt so bad, so inadequate, if i hadnt
put high expectations of myself being a teacher.
yes, indeed, the kids were overbearing at times, and they could go overboard.
like really overboard. but when you really sit down and think about it,
could you prevent those misbehaviours from the kids?
yes you can. though honestly speaking, to all current ech students who
are like thinking of becoming a teacher and make it your career,
THEORY ISNT ALWAYS APPLICABLE TO REAL LIFE.
in fact, it is MOSTLY NOT APPLICABLE in real life.
don wanna disclose much. let you guys hav some "fun" working firs. HEH:)
anyways, children are innocent parties in this picture.
they shouldn get involved and be victims whenever teachers are having mood swings

because for every behaviour, comes a 'reasonable reason' to back it up.
aww mann. im sucha loser. a pathetic pessimistic effing loser who 's unable to even live up to whatever she believes and preaches! AHHHH. FUCK ME BIG TIME!

but thanx second sis for EVERYTHING!
for asking me not to keep things inside and
jus to let it out. for acknowledging how i feel.
for understanding me and my current plight.

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okayy. tmr(sunday) gonna spend my day with the DS
and touching countless of dirty money.
and yepp, by the time i reach home, shower, change and sleep,
very soon, in fact on the very nex day, my "life" would begin. my no life "life" from mon to fri.
NICE~ VERY NICE~ cant wait for nex weekend!!!!! :):):)


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