Wednesday, March 11, 2009
myramoxiaomai from URL @ 02:20
AND SO IVE READ. NOW THIS IS FOR YOU.
im sorry for the many complications.
did you not know that the "write till so long for what" and "not touching also" post in fcukers blog was by me? as my darling, don you know my writing style by now? and if you think it was eric who wrote that post, 0.0 we're WORLDS APART! our command of English is so different!
anyways, i was hurt by what you tagged about the post. because, in the post, i sincerely apologised to you guys for not being able to turn up for the kbox.
again, another complication.
i shouldn even mentioned about those "clubbing frens".
i really really honestly didn turn up cus i hav work to finish up,
and, frankly speaking, i had anticipated that i would feel weird
being with you guys because you, would stick to yh and eric would be with hwei.
and thirdly, i cant rem any chinese songs to sing. my memory of jay's songs is quite rusty now.
so i thought i would rather save up the money. and besides, since youve booked for 4,
i thought my existence wouldn make much of a difference or significance.
so, i wanna make this clear, it has nothing to do with those "clubbing frens" or my gf.
thats why i wrote in the post for fcukers blog.
cus no matter what the reason was, i still know that i was wrong.
i was truly at fault. so i apologised in the blog.
and you had to make that comment in the tagboard.
but if that was meant for eric then fine. i'd like to clarify the rest.
you should know me by now. im the kind who treasure frenships alot.
i really treasure all my frens, especially fcukers.
we both were once very close, you should know by now how much i love fcukers,
how devoted i was to fcukers, so much so that i acty neglected my own fam,
and even caused myself to suffer, do you rem?
when i cried like fuck and decided not to be with fcukers anymore?
that was because i was feeling jus like how you are feeling right now.
UNAPPRECIATED. WHEN ACTY IVE PUT IN
MY BEST EFFORT FOR FCUKERS TO PLAN EVENTS.
you feel that way too now right? but ive been there, done that.
but, after that whole incident, i realised, i'd jus go with the flow.
if fcukers is meant to be by my side, then it will be.
if fcukers is meant to be my close fam, it will be.
so in the end, i didn do anyth, but i managed to reconcile with fcukers.
im bac to fcukers after about a month or two of "being inactive"
in the world of fcukers. but this time, when im bac to fcukers,
i had told myself,
i shant devote too much in fcukers. i shant give my all anymore.
i don wanna repeat the mistakes i made the last time, cus afterall,
i would only feel disappointed in the end.
so, if you think that ive neglected fcukers, im acty not.
it's jus that, im tryna be careful. careful not to be too devoted
to fcukers cus i don wanna feel the disappointment once again.
but now, i didn know this thing has made its way to you, anne.
im sorry. really sorry. im sorry if ive hurt you.
but i really do appreciate your efforts.
im sorry if ive not been the soul sister that youre looking for.
i swear i didn know you were expecting me to scold that person for you.
im sorry. it jus didn cross my mind. because that person is still my fren.
i hav my own stand and i live to it.
and pls. pls pls take bac your words. its not about my gf that ive neglected fcukers.
pls take her off this scene. she has nth to do with this.
ive not neglected fcukers. fcukers has always been in my heart.
it is engraved deep inside me for as long as i could rem.
once again, anne, im sorry. im sorry to hav hurt you.
im thankful for whatever youve done for me in the past,
and ive yet to repay you, but i will very soon.
and ive never forgotten about you. its jus that, you, for one,
hafta think through. eversince you started out with yh,
hav you ever tried contacting me?
hav you ever tried smsing me like how you used to?
anne. i daresay that bac then, i love our frenship alot.
it really has a special meaning. and ive made umpteen attempts
to go out with you, to hav dinner with you, jus so that we could get closer.
but, you were always busy. or you always couldn make it.
like how i was at bugis, walking around to wait for you,,
only to receive a msg from you saying that you had to work overtime.
and you hav no idea how sad i was.
because, i believe, it takes two hands to clap.
but ive given up. long ago. ive taken a few steps backwards.
because if i cant feel the essence of a frenship with someone,
i would not pursue it any longer. =(
and i would decide that we would jus be normal good frens like the rest:)
ive said my long piece.
and i wish that this complication would be cleared soon.
youre still my fren. and fcukers is fcukers.
as quoted from what i wrote in fcukers blog,
"whatever it is, jus wanna apologize if ive done anyth wrong to you guys lately. and jus wanna tell you guys, i hav faith in this friendship. i believe it will be everlasting =.="
and yes. it will be everlasting.
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