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Tuesday, August 05, 2008

myramoxiaomai from URL @ 14:53

SIGHH. firs of all, hav you ever wondered why im at home today, in the noon? when by right im always not home around noon time? did you ever ask why im not going childcare today? you think i wan it? do you think it is of my own accord that im home today? and now youre making use of me? i hav my troubles too. you see me like this like that, you always say i hav no worries, im happy-go-lucky. IM NOT! inside me i hav alot of things to settle and im tryin my best not to ask for your help as much as possible. cus i understand youre not working anymore. but you were making use of me EVERYTIME im at home, and EVERYTIME when i needed sleeeeeep. do you know how little i sleep EVERY FUCKING DAY? do you know how vulnerable my health is? do you? do you anot?! for months ive never experienced a good sleep and when i skip childcare to really rest, this is what you always do to me. you woke me up time and again. you expect me to talk to them when they can actually be left alone watching Tom & Jerry or Barney or Hi5. why? why are you doing this to me? they were happily watching tv but you kept forcing me not to sleep and entertain them. WHY? WHY??? and despite the lack of sleep, i still dragged myself up to start on my work. of course, it was normal. earpiece on one, and none on the other. and then suddenly you shook me and said, "why couldn you hear when the phone rang huh? see? now we missed the call. don know who called also. all because of you." i was like WTF??! you jolly well know why i couldn hear rightt? and im not blaming you for giving birth to me and put me in this physical state. God knows what happened 19 years ago when i was still in your womb. i accept it. i accept the way i am right now. i accept all of it. for 19 years, ive accepted all of it. because God created me this way for a reason. and why do you hav all those hurtful words for me?

"see larr. cannot hear! wonder who called"
"of course i couldn hear! i was wearing earpiece ehh!"
"ya la only one ear, still wear earpiece"
"ya precisely i hav only one ear thats why i cant hear, get it????"

YOU WOULDN KNOW HOW MUCH YOUVE HURT ME. OTHERS TAKE ALOT TO HURT ME. BUT YOU, JUS A FEW WORDS COULD HURT ME A MILLION MORE TIMES THAN OTHERS. BECAUSE .... YOU ARE MY MUM.
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