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Thursday, July 03, 2008

myramoxiaomai from URL @ 05:41

morning people.

only left like less than an hour to sleep, so i rather not sleep. once i sleep, i cant get up again. these few days, im really fucking worn out. sometimes i feel kinda lost, at times, i feel that something's amissed. i don know. sometimes i prefer to be alone, but then again contradictingly, i would scroll my phone contacts to ask anyone to go dinner with me, and right after that, i will decide not to. wtf? i don know. something's truly wrong.

hmmm. i guess i'd better type here cus i know you will always view my blog ehh, and you'll definitely come across this. seriously i don know whats got into me the day before, but i jus had to let it all out. though i tend to be open and straightforward, i didn actually tell you how ive felt truly. i wasnt hurt by your reply at all. not at all, but i feel that you were using her name to like spite me? this thing has nothing to do with her. she does not determine if i like you anot. who you like doesn make me change how i feel towards you. this is what i wanna make clear. and by now i guess, it's no more "i might fall for you" but "i already have fallen for you".

whatever it is, apology accepted. :) right now whenever i talk to you, my heart has a different feeling, like as if there is something stuck there, comtemplating to get out or not. tears definitely were present and still are, but i jus couldn find the specific reason for those tears.

maybe im jus afraid it will worsen this friendship of ours, maybe we will have to go our separate ways for awhile. i don know. it's either i overcome this sucky feeling of awkwardness and spend time with you as per normal, or i can choose to drift a little. beats me.

LITTLE DID HE KNOWS, THAT ALL ALONG THE PERSON RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM HAS BEEN THE ONE WHO CARES MOST FOR HIM. THE ONE WHO WISHES TO BE BY HIS SIDE THROUGH THICK AND THIN. BUT THIS WISH CAN NEVER BE FULFILLED ...