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Monday, December 17, 2007

myramoxiaomai from URL @ 17:23

this sux.

'do things with a clear conscience'.

thats what i believe in but i guess today i couldn live up to it. :(

was supposed to report for work as a salesgirl i suppose, those usual scope of job where you jus stand around, fold clothes, hang clothes for a deadly 8 hours or more! but i didn go. my gut feeling jus told me not to. and i know im in the wrong. =/

ive experienced alot alot working outside, from being a counter, to waitress, to sales crew selling clothes, shoes, babywear, baby prams, kids wear and stuff. giving out flyers, asking for donations and all. and i mus hav enjoyed them the last time, to hav survived through those times. but now when you ask me to work like that, i jus couldn bring myself to do it. fear of a new place, adapting to that new environment is one thing but for now, that is not the only issue.

i then began to realize jus not long ago that ive started to feel that way only after being involved in sunshine and getting used to that kinda routine. and i really really cant imagine myself standing within probably 4 walls, greet customers with a fake smile (sometimes), fold clothes while waiting for the time to pass and the nex day to follow that same routine. couldn life be much more interesting? mebbe ive been through MANY MANY TOO MANY ups and downs in my life that im not afraid to experience more.

i guess its sunshine. its jus sunshine. thank you for the many wonderful things for all these months being with you. it's close to a year now. may i achieve greater heights than what most of you, in fact ALL OF YOU, could hav ever imagined before it marks my first year ann.

and, only this will determine if im ever gonna enjoy my 19th birthday nex year, OR NOT.

DAMN. LUCKS TO ME. IN THE MANY OBSTACLES TO COME. BEING PLASTIC, BEING TRANSPARENT TO EVERYONE, BEING IMMUNED TO PEOPLE'S MISPERCEPTIONS MAY PERHAPS BE THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO GO THROUGH THIS SHIT.