Saturday, June 09, 2007
myramoxiaomai from URL @ 22:53
 im trapped, in ma own body, in that darkness. i don see any light coming through, anywhere at all. im stuck. and no one can help me except, maself.
"I MAY NOT BE THE NUMBER ONE PERSON WHOM U WILL FIND, WHENEVER U WANNA SHARE UR PROBLEMS WITH SOMEONE. IM JUS GLAD U CAN FIND SOMEONE COMFORTABLE TO TALK TO WHENEVER U FEEL DOWN."
"I MAY NOT BE THE ONE, WHOM U HAV CHOSEN IN UR HEART. IM HAPPY ENOUGH TO KNOW U HAV SOMEONE THERE WHO CAN SPEND EVRY HOUR, EVRY MINUTE, EVRY SECOND WITH U. AS LONG AS U DON FORGET THAT I EXIST IN THIS WORLD, AND HOW MUCH I MEAN TO U, IM FINE."
"I MISS U LIKE CRAZEE. BUT I DON FEEL THE NEED TO SEE U, TO TALK TO U, TO BE WITH U. AND I DON KNOW WHY. TELL ME. JUS TELL ME THE MEANING OF OUR FRENSHIP. BUT I STILL LOVE U ALL THE SAME."
"U MAY NOT KNOW WAD IM UP TO RIGHT NOW. U MAY BE FUCKING WORRIED. I KNOW U DO CARE FOR ME, FOR THE FAMILY, FOR EVRYONE, BUT I WILL BE FINE. JUS GIMME SOMETIME TO PROVE TO MASELF, TO U AND TO EVRYONE. YES. TIME IS ALL I NEED NOW."
"U ALWAYS GIMME THE FEELING THAT U CARE, AND SOMETIMES U SHOW IT. IT'S NOT THAT I DOUBT IT, JUS THAT IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE HOW MUCH U CARE FOR ME. BUT PLEASE, U NEED UR SHARE. PLEASE TAKE GOOD CARE OF URSELF TOO."
"U GUYS MAY SAY IT, BUT I WANNA SEE IT. DON JUS SAY IT. DO IT. YES. SHOW ME U GUYS CAN DO IT. THAT IS WAD IM DOIN EXACTLY. TO SHOW TO THEM THAT I MASELF CAN DO IT! HAV FAITH IN URSELF GUYS, CUS EVEN I HAV FAITH IN U."
im feeling all down. im feeling all tired. not jus that, i don know how im feeling ryt now, or jus now, or later. the whole day today, with fever knocking on ma door, i jus feel so different. as much as i do not wanna open it, the knock is jus so strong that it could break open that door.
REJECTIONS. so many of them came ryt through me, and i can still see them coming. MORE & MORE, which will only make me a stronger person, like HERCULES! ok. stop it. not funny.
lethargic. evry part of me hurts. from ma head, to ma eyes, ma lips, ma neck, ma shoulders, ma body, ma heart, ma legs. they are ALL aching like mad. im doomed. im done.
YA ALLAH. gimme YOUR strength to fight! YA ALLAH! i seek YOUR help! make me a stronger person, not only physically, but spiritually, cus i believe in YOU. and i will always do. AMIN.
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