Thursday, May 10, 2007
reality truly hurts
myramoxiaomai from URL @ 21:32
i dunno wads running through ma mind ryt now. i suddenly forgot the date tdy. oh. fortunately i rem i had wished ma third sista 'happy birthday' earlier in the morn ard 2AM. ok. its the 10th tdy.
im sad. im depressed. im tired. i feel so weak. yes a weakling, khai kit. i feel so lifeless, listless, BLANK. last sunday, ma grandma's death came as a total shock to me. and nights after till tdy, i couldn get to sleep. yepp. i imagined shes there beside me, near me. and i kept shivering. and ytd morn, ma beloved fren, min loo passed away. another shocking news for me. and i realised, i reli couldn take it anymore.
WADS LIFE? life is jus some kind of 'entertainment' for u here, in this world. evryone has to leave one day, and has to answer to God. thoughts are running wildly in ma head. why? why? why death? why am i facing this? why am i losing ma loved ones, one after another, and at sucha fast rate? and wad exactly has happened to me? i reli don hav the answer. rani told me i look like a drug addict. alot of people told me i reli NEED to sleep more. ma sis told me i look so pale that i reli scared her outta her wits. why myra? PULL URSELF TGT! thats wad ive always told maself. and i reli hope i can. problems are surrounding me. circling me, flying around me. regarding family, SSE, ma grandma, min loo, ma schoolwork. evrythg's so messed up and so far, ive only revealed it to u, dear blog. yes. be honoured. sighh.
MIN LOO.
i rem the firs time i got to know u was from FOC CAMP last year. we were fated to be in the same group, OANNNES 2. and then slowly i gotta know u. even betta, i knew u were in ECH. again as Fate has decided, our paths crossed again. since u were from kent ridge sec, we became even closer cus of common topics to talk about the school and the people we know there. and then i brought u in to the HAAGEN-DAZS FAMILY. yet again, Fate has brought us tgt. i rem vividly how we spent time tgt at the RAKU RESTAURANT.
DEAREST MIN LOO.
i thank u for bein sucha dear fren to me. honestly, u never know how much i treasure our frenship. thanx for bein there for me, for that x'mas letter and our photo that u had laminated for me. for accompanying me to FOC meeting that day, for being there to study with me last year in the library during our holidays. I RELI RELI RELI MISS U BADLY MIN LOO! im so sorry i didn talk to u much when u approached me on tuesday. i reli regret it! why couldn i see the pain in your eyes? why couldn i feel your problems? why wasnt i sensitive enough?
no matter wad, i'll always treasure our happy memories tgt. be it working tgt, go out tgt, study tgt, takin pics tgt, talk cock tgt. I LOVE EVRY MOMENT OF IT. and i wan u to know that u'll always be in ma heart. i apologise if i had ever offended u in any way. IM SORRY, MIN LOO. for acting so cold towards u evrytime u approached me in msn. I RELI WISH I COULD TURN BAC TIME. im serious. no matter wad, i know u are able to read this. u are up there, observing us, looking at us. i hope ure happy with your grandma there ok? i'll always pray for the very best for u. =))
MIN LOO. A SWEET, LOVING, CHEERFUL GAL. I MISS U. ='( NO MATTER WAD, U WILL ALWAYS BE REMEMBERED BY ME, BY US. I LOVE U. TAKE CARE.
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